Deceives the Eye

Madness

 In the earliest days of my shop-lifting career 
 You could safely say I was filled with fear 
 It was nail-biting work from the very start 
 But several quick successes soon gave me heart 

 After a while I could pick and nick with ease 
 Some shirts and trousers and a few LPs 
 No one ever stopped me, they didn't seem to care 
 And sometimes it seems to me, there was no one in there 

 Then a fine summers day my mate Ted and me 
 Set off down the west end on our usual spree 
 Things were as normal for an hour or so 
 Then my nimble hands were a bit too slow 

 Two store-detectives made a fast approach 
 One grabbed my jacket, (you're nicked, haha!) the other grabbed my troat 
 "So we caught you at last", one said with joy 
 "Been after you some time, my light-fingered boy" 

 If only I'd remembered my common sense 
 They captured me red-handedly with evidence 
 If I go to the manager and say I'm sorry 
 Maybe he'll forgive me for my youthful folly 

 "But - but what will the social worker say 
 If - if I don't come home today? 
 He'll gimme a clout 
 What if they don't let me out? 
 I told him I'm on me own 
 Don't they understand I'm from a broken home?" 

 I'll tell them I'm the product of a broken home 
 And I always went out on my own 
 Was it too late to say I'd pay 
 And I'll never steal again till the end of my days? 

 Because I had no friends to call as such 
 Money and possessions I did not have much 
 So I started to steal in order to get by 
 The quickness of the hand deceives the eye 
 Deceives the eye