If We Crawl

The Beautiful South

 If we crawl at two
 We could crawl at twenty-two
 And grovel at
 The drop of a hat

 And once they've got you down there
 It's so hard to re-straighten your back
 It we crawl at two
 We could crawl at one handred and two

 And the target brainless don't quite reach
 Covered so kindly in your opening speech
 Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
 On a sideways beach

 Let lessons not the pupils teach
 Justice not the lesers breach
 And maggots not have fingers
 Wagged at by leech

 Well I made sure
 I wrote this song in braille
 So you could touch the words
 The words that sail

 From my mouth back to the jail
 You could touch the words that sail
 From the mouth back to the jail
 That is posing as tongue

 Curtsies, bows, thank you sirs
 And the wearing of a business suit
 Lead to complaints of backache
 And end with a Nazi salute

 And once they've got you down there
 It's so hard to re-straighten your back
 If we crawl at two
 We could crawl at two two two

 And the target brainless don't quite reach
 Covered so kindly in your opening speech
 Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
 On a sideways beach

 Let lessons not the pupils teach
 Justice not the lesers breach
 And maggots not have fingers
 Wagged at by leech

 Well I made sure
 I wrote this song in braille
 So you could touch the words
 The words that sail

 From my mouth back to the jail
 You could touch the words that sail
 From the mouth back to the jail That is posing as tongue

 If we crawl at two
 We could crawl at twenty-two
 If we crawl at two
 We could crawl at twenty-two